


Here We Are

by starbucksigma



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 00:32:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4982932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbucksigma/pseuds/starbucksigma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even when welcomed back with opened arms, ghosts from the past are never simply received.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here We Are

It's an interesting thing, in this time, seeing someone you don't wanna see. Dealing with that, in your face, right there and then when you've got so much else going on. It's not ever what you'd expect. For one thing, you've gotta reconcile yourself with the fact that you've dreamed about it time and time again for reasons you don't to this day understand.

You gave up willfully remembering folks a long time ago. Not in a proactive way, of course... cause you remember Hershel and you remember Shane. You remember them on accident and try to rescind doing it immediately but the damage is already done. The pact you've made with yourself is to never go digging. You haven't slipped in what feels like a good long while, too, at least to you. Lori is the only exception, of course, because you still need her. You'll always need her. You need the lilt in her voice and the way her hair smelled when you hugged her and the 'permanently resolved' look in her eyes, and you do call her to mind sometimes. Sometimes is better than nightly--it used to be nightly.

Morgan, though? He sings out to you about who you are before he actually says a word... and oh, how much he has to say. He reminds you of so many things, things that don't hurt anymore and things that you've figured out how to keep from missing for a long time, now. Mostly, though, just seeing him there in front of you breathing is enough to screw you up. Seeing him seeing you? That's another thing entirely. It's not at all what your dreams swirled together, back when they still kept people alive for your subconscious benefit. It's real and it's life and it stinks of before.

You love it and you hate it and both are luxuries in your current state of self-being. You can't wait to talk to him and you've already anticipated what he might have to say to you and you're dreading that feeling of shame so much so that it's burning you up before the fact.

Because you're going to disappoint him. You've already done it. You've more than disappointed yourself. You don't have to answer to that version of yourself, anymore. You haven't had to for a very long time.

Not until now. It's crazy how much you crave it and want to shun it all at the same time. Knowing he's here, knowing that he's back, it pulls at you. You can't wait to sit down and talk with him even though you know you're going to end up hating yourself by the end of the conversation, regardless of all the justification and logical reasoning you've kept safe in your inside pocket.

You're glad he's here, deep down... really, you are. It'd just be so much easier if he weren't.

What the fuck does that say about you?


End file.
